this anti-social time of year

i hate this time of year.  Life plummets on my birthday and continues its rapid downward spiral until the second or third week of January.  It takes practically every fiber of my being to not pull the plug on this blog and just withdraw completely.

Seasonal Affective Disorder.  But not quite.  Holiday Syndrome.  But not really.  Doctors love to give labels – it allows them to shrug it off as “normal” and “not to be worried about, here, take this pill…”

Why is it so hard to understand when i get this way the LAST thing i want to do is take another pill??!?  Unless it’s the “end-it-all” pill.  Then i might actually consider it.  And THAT takes me to a scary place.

No – i’m not suicidal.  Not really.  But if a mad gunman raced into the hospital and started shooting, i might just go out and say ‘hi’…