the inheritance

breeding hate
in its fiercest form
so many acts
deeds done
or things said
starting the seedlings
that slowly entwine my heart
carrying the genetic material
that makes me one of his
his semblance molded into me completely
is what I hate, that which is most shameful

a happening……?

or something within me?

the final breeding ground
for all the betrayal
lack of care
spiteful cruelty
yet there is one thing
most hated
most despised
and most shameful
and every morning
I deal with it anew
as I stand at the mirror
torn between
shaving his face

and slitting his throat


and the world turns

becomes shadow
and shadow
becomes night
until my soul is swallowed
in darkness

every tick of the clock
each moment in time
adds to the weight
that bears down
on my spirit

there are no stars
to dot the sky
no presence to hint
at life
only the relentless
absence of light

my tears are gone
i can shed no more
for there is no purpose
and no relief

the pain is real
the agony suffocates
and annihilates my heart
until i crumble and fall
a lifeless husk

and the world turns

innocence lost (from my book ‘fragments of me’)

echoes of yesterday
    mix with vibrations of tomorrow
        bringing about the cacophony of today

and in the middle stands the child
    hands over his ears

lips parted
        in a silent cry
    never to be heard

     both past and present
sweet and bitter
  weave at his feet

and in the chaos of the moment
    the innocence is lost to guile
        and childhood to Pandemonium


he weeps alone

Happy Birthday 2018

so … another year.

the “super moon” hangs in the sky
large and ominous
mocking my existence
daring me to justify
being in its space

every tick of the clock
reminds me
i grow older
more alone
more destitute

after forty-four years
i would think
old memories
would finally die
and leave me

but they are
my one “friend”
true and loyal
ever at my side
reminding me
just how destitute
i truly am