i see a good looking man walk down the street and i think “if only i were thirty years younger …” thirty years? that’s half my life! i really do not want to go back to those days when life was truly hectic – children where little, babies at home, fights, arguments … not to mention just starting to remember the abuse.
And the uncertainty in myself. who was i? really?? Not that i know now either, you understand, but at least i think (HOPE) i’m a lot closer to that truth than i used to be.
i’ve reached that point when all my doctors are no longer older than i am. Now they’re younger. i don’t remember there being a time when my doctors were the same age as me … they just went from being older to being younger. Which, of course, gives them license to tell me all my aches and pains are just “old age”.
So i must be getting old. Even my doctors say so. SIGH
My desires aren’t that much different than they were thirty years ago. Except i no longer worry about being “buff” or “chisled”. Any more i’m just happy being healthy.
Now if i could just not be alone.