i must be getting old

i see a good looking man walk down the street and i think “if only i were thirty years younger …”  thirty years?  that’s half my life!  i really do not want to go back to those days when life was truly hectic – children where little, babies at home, fights, arguments … not to mention just starting to remember the abuse.

And the uncertainty in myself.  who was i?  really??  Not that i know now either, you understand, but at least i think (HOPE) i’m a lot closer to that truth than i used to be.

i’ve reached that point when all my doctors are no longer older than i am.  Now they’re younger.  i don’t remember there being a time when my doctors were the same age as me … they just went from being older to being younger.  Which, of course, gives them license to tell me all my aches and pains are just “old age”.

So i must be getting old.  Even my doctors say so.  SIGH

My desires aren’t that much different than they were thirty years ago.  Except i no longer worry about being “buff” or “chisled”.  Any more i’m just happy being healthy.

Now if i could just not be alone.

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