tired of yesterday’s trauma

i’m glad the week is over.  It has been an unusually LONG week – not so much at work, just the heavy cloud of depression and a week of flashbacks and nightmares.  Woke up at 3am again screaming in pain.  Of course, i wasn’t REALLY in pain, just the mind thought i was.  And that’s more than enough to make it real.  At least this time there was no blood.

i desperately need a break from yesterday’s trauma.  i know it happened.  i admit it happened.  i am sorry it happened.  but it happened.  and it’s more than time for me to grow up and MOVE ON!

So very angry at myself right now for holding on to this.  All the BS lines i’ve read and been told keep replaying in my head.

When do i get to leave the past in the past and start looking for the future?  i am not STRONG enough to keep up this pace.

Dear Lord i just want it to end.

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7 thoughts on “tired of yesterday’s trauma

  1. Hear, hear! I am so tired of repeating emotional traumas in my brain…. at the same time, from all I’ve read, that’s kind of “normal”… sigh. I guess we all just kind of do the best we can, as I am certain you are doing aswell. 🙂
    Hang in there! ⚘💙

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great question. There is no one answer. You have to decide for yourself what it takes to push beyond this repetitive circle of depression. It would be beneficial if you considered YOURSELF the source of motivation, but whether it’s the family or something else, it’s only you that can make this decision.

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