i’m glad the week is over. It has been an unusually LONG week – not so much at work, just the heavy cloud of depression and a week of flashbacks and nightmares. Woke up at 3am again screaming in pain. Of course, i wasn’t REALLY in pain, just the mind thought i was. And that’s more than enough to make it real. At least this time there was no blood.
i desperately need a break from yesterday’s trauma. i know it happened. i admit it happened. i am sorry it happened. but it happened. and it’s more than time for me to grow up and MOVE ON!
So very angry at myself right now for holding on to this. All the BS lines i’ve read and been told keep replaying in my head.
When do i get to leave the past in the past and start looking for the future? i am not STRONG enough to keep up this pace.
Dear Lord i just want it to end.