in the morning shadows

in the morning shadows
fear extends its claws
and holds me tight
in agony

in the morning shadows
cold descends within
striking bone and sinew
with harsh accuracy

in the morning shadows
panic creeps and slides
taking me unaware
and unprotected

in the morning shadows
memories glide without effort
unbidden and unwanted
until I am awash in turmoil

in the morning shadows
i am defenseless
a child without armor
lost and alone

and i weep
in mourning shadows

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11 thoughts on “in the morning shadows

  1. Sometimes experience provides the element that translates words into surreal emotions. Nothing like wishing a talented writer the loss of painful words, experiences and emotions at the same pace he gains the ability to experience pleasure, happiness and joy. Impossible? Only if we CHOOSE eternal misery. Your efforts in life do not consistently convey this choice. Darkness…YES… FOREVER…?????

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      • I have never traveled in your shoes, so it would be naive of me to suggest you change your thinking. It sounds to me like you have made a conscious decision. As long as it doesn’t interfere with the quality of anyone’s life besides your own, I believe and support your right to your choice.

        Obviously, your choice is a minority choice and one not clearly understood. That doesn’t mean people should try to convince you otherwise. You seem to be a pretty smart person. I have no problem accepting you and your personal decision.

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        • first, let me thank you again for your open-minded, affirming statements. it immediately disarms any disagreement into just that – a differing of opinions. and i applaud you for that.
          second … i guess i wasn’t facetious enough. i do not believe i am “choosing eternal misery”; i don’t know that i fully accept that i even have much choice…..

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    • I’m actually kinda sorry to hear that … It is helpful to know I’m not alone in this struggle, but sometimes I wish others did not know what it was like.
      Thank you for your comments and helping me remember I am not alone.

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