treasure

There is a child deep within me
   A frightened
    battered
     bruised
      beaten
       raped little boy.

He is terrified of me.
  Though I have offered him comfort
    compassion
    understanding
    safety
      and love,
  he will have nothing to do with me.

See, in my much-less ordered past
  I blamed everything on him
  I screamed obscenities in his face
  Riled against everything he was
 Even blaming my present on him.

I have apologized
  I have pleaded with him
    cried with him
      and in his darkest moments
          I’ve cradled him in my arms.

Until he realizes where he is
   and dashes off
      to his corner
      in the dark, damp basement.

So I sit, cross-legged on the floor
  at the opposing corner
    of the room
  in the light
    so he can see me at all times.

And I wait
   and pray that someday
     he will see me as I am
       not the monster he believes.

And more… so very much more,

That he will see himself
  as the most priceless treasure
    I have ever had the honor
      to hold.

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