what’s left

There is no comfort in life
        no softness in a pillow
        nor warmth in a quilt

Sleep does not give rest
        and activity does not bring peace

Every muscle – every joint – every nerve
        aches with a sadness too severe for words

Sorrow weighs down my soul
        like heavy dew to the tender shoot

Pain – if it can be called pain
        for nowhere does it reside
        and nothing hurts – yet everything suffers

I want to raise the drawbridge
        and keep myself safe
        isolated – and alone

But fear attends my every moment
        his brother anguish beside
        and sister depression together

My spirit has no escape
        nor do I seek one

Though I make the movements of one searching
        in truth I do not look

For in seeking I might find
        and in finding realize I have no right to hurt
        in the first place

Surely I cannot maintain
        with a future so bleak
        and present so empty

Nor should I wish for such
        which leaves me

            with nothing


6 thoughts on “what’s left

  1. Wow! Marcus. I actually identify with this. You have really expressed this type of misery so well. It is like being stuck in purgatory. Your grief is expressed so poignantly. Here is to the Hope that whatever comes after this is better days šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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