i hate you

i woke up this morning
despising you
wishing you were dead
willing to do almost anything
to have you gone

there are few words
to describe the depth
of this depression

why couldn’t you be dead
why couldn’t you have
just this once
failed to wake up

why am i still here
and what will it take
for me to NOT be here

i don’t want to have
another day
where i wake up
hating myself
this much


7 thoughts on “i hate you

  1. I suppose this poem is about feelings truly lived by yourself. ( I figured since I saw your comment). Some poems are symbolic and others are more raw and “cut to the bone”- real. If it is, I am sorry. Such pain and torment… I wish I could help lift some of it off of you. Hopefully you feel a little bit better when I am writing this! Hugs.


    • Thanks. Actually, by the time I posted this I was better than when I first woke up. My heart then was very dark. Very dark. This comes close, I guess, to where I was – but even as it is it doesn’t truly paint the dismal like it was felt.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Marcus. I can’t fault you for expressing yourself but I hate the fact you hate yourself. I don’t know all the ins and outs. Hopefully your blog will shift one day to a place whore you can see the good we all have in us. 🙂 Keep writing.


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