what have i done


i reached out to a therapist.  one i thought, from his website, might be able to see ME behind all the symptoms.  of course, he doesn’t think we’re a good match – so we must not be because it takes both therapist and client to be “right” for anything to even think of working.  which of course, i don’t see happening.  but i have agreed to let him send me a list of people he thinks have a better chance of being a “good fit”.

why i even reached out is a mystery.

except i’m tired of living like this.  or existing like this cuz it sure ain’t “living’.

if something doesn’t change soon, i’ll make a change.

and that thought scares me.


8 thoughts on “what have i done

  1. I sure hope that his list has some good names!
    I think it is a great step you have taken, to reach out to a therapist. Very brave.
    May I be so bold as to suggest that there may be one hundred “simple” reasons as to why he didn’t see it as a good fit? (Cause sometimes we tend to see things in a dark light, even if we do not have all the facts).
    Perhaps he just didn’t feel like an expert at your unique situation. Perhaps you reminded him of his long gone son, who he failed with, as a father. Perhaps… etc, etc. I think you understand my meaning that perhaps (likely), there was a “good” reason for him saying that.
    I wish you all the best. /SurvivedNarc


    • Thanks. I actually value his opinion more when he said he didn’t think we were a solid fit. Shows maybe he does actually want to help.
      Thanks again. I think you could be right on center as to there being a “good” reason.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The fact that you took a step to seek out help is a sign that you aren’t ready to give up yet. That’s an enormous strength in your favor. I hope you find someone who is a good fit all around. You deserve to experience what it should be like.


  3. I hope ,you’ll find the right one soon enough.It can take some time,not only to find a good therapist but to build some trustJust don’t give up.You CAN and WILL do that.You’ve made the first step already,reaching out for help.It is never easy,but the help is out there.Wish you all the best.


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