no, not really

i didn’t know him

yes, we chatted from time to time
on the support site
we commented
on each other’s posts

our histories ran parallel
both sexually abused
by family
both plagued by nightmares
and day terrors

i remember the day
he said he couldn’t cope
anymore
i didn’t know
what to tell him
other than i have been there
on that path
in that sinking ship
and i understood the pain
and the fear

but unlike him
i didn’t give up
i guess maybe my pain
wasn’t as bad as his
or i didn’t reach far enough
or he didn’t reach back
but whichever
he’s gone
and i’m here

i guess
maybe i should feel

i don’t know what i should feel
except
i am sure
i shall miss him
even though

i didn’t know him

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