seeing him again

history repeats itself

survivor road

***if you have a history of abuse – if you are easily triggered – if mere words can move you to fear – please, please do not read any further***

night too long
and way too short
nightmare driven
flashback delayed
his face
over and over again
his face
him and his friends
and my voice
screaming
stop, no, please …
but they don’t
my shoes
socks
no, not my shirt
then blank
empty

and suddenly
i’m not there
they are
i can hear
their viscious laughter
feel
their violating hands
can’t get free
my eyes plead
my brother sees nothing
but his friends

so many years ago
now again so fresh
can feel each wound
each horrible touch
as i sit in the corner
knees to my chest
head down
tears flowing

when
do i get
to be
free

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