It’s All So S.A.D.

If this is you, if you find yourself anywhere in this post, take special note of the closing statement. This is not permanent. It just feels that way.

Art by Rob Goldstein

Butterly Memory

I have always felt more anxious during the months of November and December.

As I’ve gotten older the seasonal anxiety and loss of concentration is worse.

This past week, especially after ‘falling back” one hour, is especially bad.

I sit down and look up and hours have slipped away.

I interpret the smallest remark as dismissive, or as evidence of my unworthiness.

It feels as if I have no real future and no real past.

This is different from dissociative episodes.

It feels as if I’m drugged, as if my mind is shutting down.

According to MedlinePlus Seasonal Affective Disorder includes the following symptoms:

  • Sad, anxious or “empty” feelings
  • Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness or helplessness
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
  • Fatigue and decreased energy
  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details and making decisions
  • Difficulty sleeping or…

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