less than nothing

under the guise of friendship 
   he asked to meet. 
with the pretense of empathy 
   did he lure me. 
feeling the need of understanding 
   I met him, 
      learned to trust him, 
      even to open my heart to him. 
then with the cold blade of carelessness 
   did he wound me. 

and now I feel myself closing off, 
   becoming more calloused, 
   more fearful. 

how I miss the innocence of my youth, 
   and the freedom 
      with which I once faced the world. 

now there is only rain, 
   and bitter winds, 
   emptiness, 
   and the sense of being less 
      than nothing. 
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3 thoughts on “less than nothing

  1. I envy you my friend. Because I cannot remember a time of innocence in my childhood. I only remember the insanity of the adults in whom my care was so easily forgotten.

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    • Don’t envy too much. I remember glimpses of innocence – the rest is a blur of abuse. What pieces I actually remember. Being without memory is being without a past – – even a bad one. There are days I’d trade anything to have my memories. There are also days I am thankful I don’t ….
      As for this particular piece – this took place when I was 7 years old ….

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    • I am sorry to hear though that you don’t remember a time of innocence at all. Mine are limited, but still I have some. My heart aches for a soul with no memories of innocence.

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