all the things he said

When he said it wouldn’t hurt
and it did
I thought I must be doing something wrong

When he said I would like it
and I didn’t
I thought I must not be normal

When he said it had to be our secret
and I never told anyone
I never realized what that silence would cost

When he said he really liked me
and then hurt me
I thought people who liked me would always hurt me

When he said it would get better
and it didn’t
I thought I was terribly malformed

When he said someday I’d understand
and I never did
I was sure I was mentally crazy

My whole life has been spent trying to connect reality
to the things he said
But now I realize there is no connection and never was

I just wish I could clear my thoughts
of all the things he said

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